“Let your love be sincere; hate what is evil, loath all ungodliness, but hold fast to that which is good.” Rom 12:9
It is incumbent upon me to share a very timely, sensitive and controversial subject with the men who are reading this blog. Let me pause and take a deep breath because what I have to say to both my single and married brethren needs to be said. You have heard it said often by many women that, “all men are dogs!” Sad as that may sound, it reflects a growing concern. Contrary to this notion, there are many good God fearing men in our churches across the land, husband and fathers in the home , and men who are single or in relationships. Nevertheless, I hear women complain vehemently that there are no good men left and that all men are dogs. Personally, I here this more often than I would like. Of course, all men are not dogs. As popular as this statement is among women, you and I have a responsibility to help raise the bar and set the example that there are indeed men of integrity, character, values, morals, Christian beliefs and certainly not all men have a hidden agenda and want to get into a woman’s pants.
I often wondered why so many women feel this way and why many are so guarded emotionally. Men in general have taken a bad rap for being serial cheaters, adulterers using and disrespecting women. Just as all women aren’t divas so to all men aren’t dogs. This is just the socialization, stereotyping, bashing and labeling that men get. Going back to the first civilization men have had their squeeze on the side. Men have had their mistresses since the beginning of time and it has perpetuated to present day. Because of all the media hype of athletes, politicians, preachers, entertainers and on and on and how a few men dishonor women by cheating, puts men in a negative light. It fuels a debate among women that all men must be equal opportunity cheaters. Wrong! Sadly, many men violate women playing them like a fine fiddle, thus many women have lost their faith in men. A string of dysfunctional relationships would leave any woman weary and skeptical. The shackles of adultery and cheating is alive and well! However, there are men of sterling character and convictions.
Men are conditioned as early in their youth to view woman as sex objects. Sadly, this is the socialization of our society. Many men dehumanize women by treating and looking upon them as sex objects. This has been deeply rooted in the male species for centuries. Further fueling this debate is that we are bombarded with images of women as sexual objects from mainstream and social media. For men it is all about the boobies and the booty, top and bottom. Men are stimulated visually whereas women are stimulated emotionally with intimacy. Therefore, men view women and relate to them as something to be used to suit their needs and to be put out to pasture and discarded like a Barbie doll when she is no longer useful. Unlike women, a man’s ultimate quest is having an orgasm. Our brains are wired differently. Did you know that research finds that men think about sex every 60 seconds. For women it is emotional but for men it is physical. Another aspect worth considering is the fact that men are also conditioned to be bad boys and cheating is just something extracurricular that men do, whereas women are conditioned to be ladies. Be that as it may, a man is never excused by dishonoring women because of some biological trait or social misdirected norms. Today's society has it all wrong. We measures a mans masculinity by his sexual prowess instead of his gentlemen like qualities. The Bible clearly reminds us that, “Let your love be sincere; hate what is evil, loath all ungodliness, but hold fast to that which is good.” Rom 12:9.
Men, let me be as pragmatic as I can be. Lend me your ears and give me your consideration and attention. Together lets make some sense out of the whole matter. If a man is truly wants to be a man after God’s own heart he will strive to walk upright and be a man of integrity. If a man displays respect and honor towards women you can tell where his heart is. This is what separates the real men from the so-called wanna-be, some-timing men in the way he treats a lady. When a man mistreats a woman, he is also mistreating God. Brethren stop treating women shamefully. If you live a lifestyle where you continually mistreat women stop! You are walking in the flesh, not in the spirit. Men, it is time you keep your pants zipped up and your belt buckled.
God has sent His Holy Spirit to teach you how to live a Godly life with integrity. Our heavenly Father wants you to, “Take the Shackles Off Your Mind”, that bind you to mistreat women and misbehave in your words and deeds towards them. A true man is measured by the way he treats a woman. God wants you to see women as He sees woman. Today’s women are looking at you to model the life of Christ, to be holy and Christ-like. It should not be the other way around. After all these are our Sisters-in-Christ. Ideally, a woman wants a man who seeks after God’s own heart. It is indeed a balancing act trying to a Christian and a man in today's world. Will the real men please stand up! It is all about being honorable!
Copyrighted Material ©2012 Marquis Evans
Preach this....you are speaking such truth. When I work with women who are suffering from the aftermath of domestic violence, they are so deceived in believing that their perpetrator, the man, was going to take care of them, provide for them, and above all LOVE them. I am here to say that love is an action word, and when someone says that they love you, regardless in what form, (friendship, nurturing, romantic relationship, or marriage), those actions will follow behind the word that was spoken. God shows His love to us everyday. So as women, we must not accept anything less, than what God shows us. He is our ultimate Heavenly Father, and yes no man (or woman) can do more than what God does. However, the one we allow to come into our personal space should treat us with the same loving heart. Good blog Marquis, look forward to reading more in the future. I was just teaching this to the women in my domestic violence support group last night.
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